Everyone Angers Bryan
by GustavSexBomb101
Summary: Bryan was well-known for screaming death threats at innocent children at three o'clock in the morning. So when fellow bladers decided to annoy him, the result is unthinkable. Warning: Violence. Far too much violence for it to be healthy. Rated for swearing and death threats.


**MrsRayKon: Heeey guys! So... These are short stories about rage Bryan in different scenarios.**

**AddUsernameHere: Process that. Rage. Bryan. Translated as: angry Bryan. Translated as: stuff blowing up.**

**M: Yaaaay! Anyyywaaaay... We are randomly selecting characters for this... There has been absolutely no planning... Be afraid. Very. Afraid.**** So, uh, enjoy. Or don't if you hate fun.**

**A: Seriously, do not read if you have a weak stomach. Or you don't like Bryan. But if you don't like Bryan, what're you doing on this fic? On this site? On the face of this PLANET?**

**M: I'd just like to say, if season 1 episode 49 hadn't happened. We probably wouldn't be writing this. *Prays to almighty god! Takao Aoki***

**A: You're a freak...**

**M: Also, if it didn't exist, there would be no episode I know all the words to...**

**A: She's joking. If season 1 episode 49 never happened, we'd CREATE that god damn episode. Because every anime needs a psychopathic Russian. That's the law. Oh yeah, and this is our first fic as partners.  
**

**M: *High fives my partner***

**A: *Breaks her neck for touching me***

**M: *Cries in corner with Unicolyon to protect me. And Tala's hair gel***

**A: Anyway. Let's end this. Enjoy!**

**M: Or don't, if you-**

**A: Shut up.**

**Disclaimer: We don't own Beyblade.**

**M: Unless-**

**A: No.**

* * *

"Bryan! We're going down to the bar for a few hours! So grab your coat and be nice!" Tala's voice echoed down the hall, as a sound of keys turning in a lock. Bryan heaved himself off the sofa and lay down his beer bottle. They were in a hotel for two weeks as a 'bonding exercise' with other teams.

"And you are NOT allowed to bring a knife with you this time; whether it's for self defence or not!" Tala added as an afterthought, not wanting a replay of what happened last time...

Grumbling, Bryan tugged on his coat, moaning about how annoying life was. Why did he have to go to this stupid bar thing? He had his beer at home, and that was enough.

"I still don't see the point of this." Bryan yelled out at Tala, who was unsuccessfully trying to pull the key out of it's hole.

"You're going because I said so. Right after I just..." Tala grunted, pressing against the door with one leg and pulling as hard as he could.

Bryan sighed and rolled his eyes. Shoving Tala out of the way, he turned the key- and it slid out easily.

"Yeah... Well... You got lucky." Tala glared at Bryan for making him seem stupid.

No one likes socialising. Not even that Tate kid... Probably... Trudging behind Tala, arms crossed, Bryan looked like a three year old. A tall, scary, Russian, three year old. After three flights of stairs, seven corridors and an elevator, they finally got there.

Hell.

No, the bar.

Same thing.

All around him, sat tipsy, laughing bladers. All smiling and chatting. All idiots and loud. Yes, that last bit was directed at Tyson.

In one corner the BladeBreakers were playing pool, and Tyson was using Daichi as the cue stick. One of the All Stars was lying on the floor, with someone else on top of them. Passed out; not that other thing your dirty minds are thinking of.

"Hey hey! Bryan, my main man! Come join the partay!" An extremely drunk Eddy greeted them, slapping Bryan on the back. The falcon glared at him, but Eddy didn't seem affected. All that alcohol had probably messed up his brain waves.

"Think we'll pass thanks." Tala said, shoving Eddy to the floor. The basketball player just burst out laughing, not caring about his bruised head and ego.

"Tala... No one has seen us yet. We can turn and leave... Quick!" Bryan almost begged, tugging on his friends sleeve.

"No, Bryan. We. Are. Staying." Tala said sternly.

Bryan glared at the Redhead who tried to thrust a bottle of what he was hoping was cider into his large hands. Stupid Mr. Dickinson, making them all come and... socialise...

"Hey! Bryan, Tala, over here!" A voice suddenly called out. Both Russians turned to the source, and stared in horror when they realised what... Monster had called them: Tyson.

"Shit. We've been foiled." Bryan cursed, sipping on his drink. It tasted... Sweeter than cider usually did. Oh well, he'd drink it anyway. Drown his sorrows and all that.

Despite his protesting, Tala made Bryan go up to the bar and start a conversation with someone. He was grateful that Tala had ignored Tyson's greeting, but as the other option was socialising...Yes, Bryan laughed too. Nearly. He wouldn't want his face to crack.

Dodging a screaming Kevin, he sat at one of those stupid seats that swivel and have no back and looked really easy to push a chuckling, slightly tipsy Ray off of. Maybe later.

Already knowing that this day would turn out disastrous, Bryan tried to find something to look at.

The seats next to him were occupied with very annoying teenagers, the bar lady looked like a man in lipgloss, and the floor was an ugly pink colour. And never in his life would Bryan Kuznetsov willingly look at anything pink.

So, random spot on the wall it was then. He was so intrigued with his exciting choice that he completely missed what Tala was saying to him.

"... Huh?" Tala sighed.

"Hello? Earth to Bryan? I said: what do you want to drink?" Bryan just blinked foolishly.

"But... I have drink." He pointed at his bottle, seriously confused.

"That's just cider. And extra strength vodka... Loosen up dude, have some fun for once!" Tala slapped Bryan on the back (something the falcon did not appreciate) and ordered for the both of them: something that Bryan had trouble reading, let alone pronouncing.

"Hahaha, yeah, work it baby!" Emily yelled, throwing salted peanuts at a belly dancing Michael, who had decided to put on the new Spice Girls album. Bryan grumbled. Stupid Americans. At least Steven wasn't completely wasted yet. Maybe there was hope for the USA...

"HEY BRYAN!" Or not. Bryan death glared at his drink, as the green haired male tried to make drunk conversation with him.

"You know Bryan, there's one thing I've always wondered I'm life: what is that thing on Spencer's head?" Steven slurred almost incoherently. Bryan rolled his eyes, glad that Spencer wasn't here right now. Steven would be missing a limb or two if he was.

"It's like a bandana... And earmuffs! At the same time! How COOL is that?!" For some unknown reason Steven had felt that he had to scream the word 'cool' in Bryan's ear. Even Tala winced at the noise.

"Steven. Go and crawl back under your rock and leave. Me. Alone." Bryan spat, resisting the urge to smash a table around the Americans head. God, he was angry... And maybe just slightly drunk. But only slightly.

"Rocky rock rocks! There used to be a song about that, you know. Called dandelions. Heh... Dandelions..." Steven smirked randomly.

"AND there was a song about... About..." Bryan wasn't surprised that Steven got distracted. But he was surprised, though, when the green-haired All Star suddenly looked Bryan in the eye, his face deadly serious.

"Bryan..." Steven said in an emotionless tone. Bryan blinked up at him. Well. This was... Different.

"I have bigger muscles than you." Steven concluded, his face still expressionless.

Bryan saw red.

And he didn't mean Mariam's wine that was spilt down Miguel's front.

It was anger.

Pure anger.

And it's source was the wasted, belching jock, slumped against Mariah's barstool.

"I'm sorry?" Bryan smiled dangerously. He hoped he had heard wrong. Because if not... Something was going to be rammed between a wall and a table.

Steven burped loudly, and grinned goofily up at Bryan. "I saaaaaaid-" the American began, stretching out the word for some reason, "**I** have bigger muscles than **YOU**." He poked Bryan in the chest, swaying slightly, a huge smile on his flushed face.

Bryan sucked in a breath. Yup. It had happened. Steven had said it. And now something was going to die.

"Well. That's great." Bryan pushed himself up from his chair, face burning. If Steven had any sense, he would've ran. But, of course, he was intoxicated with vodka. So sense was something he had lost a long time ago.

Bryan inhaled deeply.

'Close your eyes and count to ten' His therapist had said to him. Fuck his therapist. He was pretty sure he was a relative of Dr. Zagart anyway.

"Y'know who's pretty?" Steven muttered, obviously forgetting his previous statement. "Dr. Judy. The woman has a nice pair of cans. I think she's so-!" Stevens half empty beer bottle flew across the room (nearly hitting Robert), as Steven got a bruiser 'round his face. But Bryan didn't stop there.

"Do you ever, EVER, insult my biceps EVER again!" He screamed at Steven. A lot of bladers turned around at the commotion. Except Gary, who was sprawled out on the carpet, licking Kevin's face.

"Bryan, Relax." Kai said.

Kai tried to restrain his friend but Bryan just pushed him away. Nothing was going to get between him and his victim. Nothing.

"You." Bryan grabbed the front of Stevens shirt and pressed his face against the Americans. Steven's eyes were clouded, but he looked quite shocked. Probably. Everyone was too drunk to tell.

"You. Are. Scum." Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. They thought Bryan was going to stab him or something.

But no. He head butted him instead. Of course.

"Owwww! My skull! It's BURNING!" Steven whined, clutching his head in pain. He took a step back and almost tripped over Mathilda, who was lying on the floor. Wearing barely anything. Ah.

Back to the fight: Bryan was snarling at his victim of assault. He wasn't finished yet. He was seriously annoyed; his muscles were his babies. No one was ever mean to them without dying.

"Bryan. Dude. Chill." A voice came from behind. It belonged to Tala, who was probably the only one who was still slightly sober.

Did Bryan listen? Yes. He calmly sat back down at the bar and apologised to Steven.

I don't even need to type 'not'.

"Honey, you're going down!" Bryan clicked his fingers, moving his head in a circular movement-

Wait. Hold it. He did what?!

Alcohol worked in mysterious ways. It made some angry. It made others sad. But it made Bryan Kuznetsov act like a ghetto.

Hell yeah.

Many watched in shock, others were afraid, some (namely Tyson, Daichi and Max) found the scene absolutely hilarious. Tala and Kai groaned in unison as they realised how drunk Bryan was. Here, have a graph:

Sober Bryan  
Tipsy Bryan  
Bored Bryan  
Drunk Bryan  
Angry Bryan  
Wasted Bryan  
Ghetto Bryan  
Sleepy Bryan  
Passed Out Bryan  
Hungover Bryan  
Angry Bryan

Which meant that the next step was 'sleepy Bryan.' The thought was worrying.

"Bryan, please, nothing needs to bleed! We can talk about this!" Tala practically begged, tugging at his friends sleeve. Bryan just shrugged him off, staring intently at Steven.

"Babe, you are SO done for!" Before anyone could stop him, Bryan picked up one of the stupid swivel chairs and literally THREW it at Steven. The effect was immediate. The chair connected with the side of Stevens head, and the jock fell unconscious on the floor.

"Yeah! That's what I thought!" Bryan spat on the American and yawned. Oh god. It was happening. Sleepy Bryan was appearing.

"Tala... We better get him home." Kai whispered in Tala's ear. They could put up with drunk Bryan. They could deal with wasted Bryan. Hell, they could even tolerate ghetto Bryan. But sleepy Bryan was a different story.

You see, most sleepy people yawn a lot, act grumpy and scowl at everything. But not Bryan. No, he had to be different. Because sleepy Bryan...

Wait for it...

Brace yourselves...

Sleepy Bryan. Acted. Cuddly.

"Kaisy-weisy! Hugs!" Bryan suddenly said, making puppy-dog eyes at a very scared-looking Kai. It had begun. Everyone's worst nightmare.

"No. Touch me and I'll feed you to... Tyson." He pointed at Tyson, who was breakdancing on one of the tables with 'Nyan Cat' blasting out his phone.

"But Kaaaaaai!" Bryan pouted, crossing his arms stubbornly and pouting. He did a great impression of a little child. Although most toddlers didn't through chairs at people and got drunk on vodka. Not to mention acting ghetto.

"Okay, code red, code red. We're leaving. Go, go, go! Evacuate the area!" Ian appeared out of nowhere, indicating towards Bryan. He had a few experiences with cuddly Bryan. They weren't pretty.

"Wehadagreattimewe'releaving byeeeeeeeee!" It was fair to say that Ian was slightly tipsy too. But he had a lot more sense than Bryan had at the moment.

Everyone was silent as they processed what had just happened in the last few minutes.

Everyone, except Ray.

Whilst being drunk, and seeing your worst enemy who was now trying to snuggle with Robert, it was hard not to laugh.

Very hard.

He burst out, giggling like a school girl. So much that he fell off his stupid swivel chair and knocked himself unconscious on the corner of a table.

"Great. Now he's dead, too." Ian kicked Ray with his boot, scowling at the knocked out neko-jin. Why did he have to add more weight onto their shoulders? Pissed as they all were, someone had to carry him home. There was only one person.

"Tala. Pick up the dick." Ian said, walking past the redhead, who looked at him with a surprised expression on his pale face.

"Why me?" The wolf asked, staring at Ray.

"Because you have brain cells left!" Ian shot back. True, everyone else didn't have any sense at all. Especially Bryan.

"Oh, Robert, you are my bae! Oh, Roberty Robert, come with me to play!" Bryan wound his arms around the Majestic members neck, kissing his cheek. Poor Robert. He'd be traumatised in the morning.

"Fine." Tala rolled his eyes and threw Ray over his shoulder, eyes widening at the weight of him. Whoa. He weighed more than he looked. Nothing that Tala couldn't handle though, after all, he was the badass Russian. Nothing could rain on his parade.

"See you losers when you've all regained sense." He waggled his fingers, pausing to grab Bryan's wrist, detaching him from Robert.

"But Talalalalalalalalala-"

"Piss off, Bryan."

"-I love Robert! You're so MEAN!"

Tala rolled his eyes. Oh god. If Bryan was bad now... He'd be even worse in the morning.

* * *

Ray awoke, his head pounding in his hands.

'Time for a glass of water.' He thought to himself. But he never really got that far. Because towering over his bed, was a hungover, angry Bryan.

"Kon." He spat the words out like poison.

"H-h-hey Bryan... Lovely day today, don't you think? Hehe..." Ray smiled nervously.

"Run."

Two billion galactic miles away, little aliens with pink faces and blue hands turned in the general direction of planet earth, wondering what that high-pitched scream was. The answer? Two words: Bryan Kuznetsov. And that's all you need to know.

* * *

**Question for you: do you still have your sanity? Yes? We salute you. No? We don't blame you.**

**Ideas welcome! Who shall we do next? R&R!**

**Until then,**

**MrsRayKon and AddUsernameHere!**

**And together we are:**

**GustavSexBomb101 !**


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